despite themselves
by Calliope Jones
Summary: Well, I figured I should add my take on RLNT. future HBP spoilers.
1. it all started

It all started when he came to see her at St. Mungo's. She was lying in one of those horrible beds, one arm splinted and bandages around her head, and he walked in the door.

His smile did it. That slight tilt at the corner of his lips, the way he tried to look cheerful despite the sorrow in his eyes.

"Hello Nymphadora." He said quietly.

And suddenly, her heart stuttered, and her stomach flopped about. "Wotcher, Remus."

She looked so pale, so fragile in the narrow hospital bed. Stark white bandages circled her head, calling attention to the fact that her hair was not, as usual, pink, but a rather mousy brown.

He didn't want to see her like this. Not like this, injured and vulnerable. That wasn't at all _his_ Tonks. His Tonks was bright, inquisitive, and energetic. Not this heartbreakingly young woman whose smile was brittle on the edges.

"May I come in?" He asked.

She gestured with her uninjured hand.

He entered the room and crossed to her bedside, sitting down on a wooden chair that was not suited for his tall frame.

"How are you?" He asked, carefully lacing his hands together in his lap.

"Alright." She shrugged. "At least I didn't do it to meself this time."

His eyes met hers briefly, then dropped to his hands.

He looked so tired, she thought. And too thin. Didn't the man ever eat?

She shifted in the bed, wincing a little. "How're you?"

He heaved a bit of a sigh. "I'll be alright."

Silence. If there was one thing Tonks hated, it was silence. But not with Remus. With him, it was comfortable. Mostly.

"Remus?" Her voice wavered.

He lifted his head. "Tonks?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have been better, should have been faster. It's my fault Sirius is dead."

Remus gaped at her for a moment. "What?"

"It's my fault. If I had been better, Bellatrix…"

He reached out abruptly to grip her uninjured hand. "No! Tonks. No. It's not your fault at all."

She shook her head.

"Nymphadora." He said softly. "You might have been killed. In fact, when I saw you lying there, I thought…" He trailed off, taking a deep shuddering breath. "It's not your fault. It's war."

He did not let go of her hand, she noticed. Slowly, ever so slowly, she turned her hand over, twining her fingers with his. She didn't dare look at him now, so instead she studied their linked hands.

His hand, long fingered and strong, the back marked faintly with scars. Her hand, what she could see of it, was scraped, her nail polish chipped.

"How long do they plan on keeping you?" He asked.

"Couple days. They're afraid I might do myself a harm if they let me go too soon."

"Ah. Seems they know you well." He replied.

"Wanker." She said, without heat. She sneaked a glance at him.

His eyes were on their hands, his brows drawn together in a slight frown. Then he looked up, catching her gaze.

"I should go. Let you rest." He said abruptly.

"Remus…"

He tugged his hand free and rose, straightening his robes. "Good night, Tonks."

"Will you come see me again?" She blurted.

He seemed to consider for a moment. "If you like."

"Please?" She whispered.

He nodded. "Very well. Tomorrow, then."

He turned and walked away, shutting the door carefully behind him. Then he let out his breath.

What the bleeding hell was he doing? Holding her hand for Merlin's sake. He had no right; no right at all to touch her.


	2. day two

She screwed up her face and pushed.

Nothing happened. Well, nothing besides the blinding pain that speared through her temples.

"Ow. Bloody, buggering ow."

She had been trying to morph for an hour now, and the only thing she had to show for it was a massive headache.

There was, of course, no reason for her to morph right now, but it kept her occupied and kept her from waiting for Remus to show up.

She'd been waiting all day, and there was no sign of him.

He'd forgotten, she told herself. On the other hand, maybe he'd come to his senses and realized there was no reason to visit her.

She gingerly laid her head back down and dropped the mirror she'd been holding into her lap.

It wasn't as if she cared.

Tears gathered in her eyes. She didn't care, not one whit.

Why hadn't he come?

She screwed her face up again, pushing.

"Arrgh."

The door opened slowly.

"Tonks?"

She didn't open her eyes. Obviously, she'd given herself brain damage, and she was hallucinating.

"Nymphadora? Are you alright?"

She cracked one eye open. No, she wasn't hearing things. Remus stood in the doorway.

Opening both eyes, she tried to sit up. The wash of pain left her gasping. "Oh, bloody hell."

Remus rushed to her side. "Tonks, what's wrong? Do you need help?"

She let him guide her back to a prone position. "Was trying to morph." She forced out. "got a bleeding headache."

"Why were you trying to morph? You shouldn't be pushing yourself." He said gently as he rearranged the bedclothes over her.

How could she answer that? She couldn't tell him that she didn't want him seeing her like this, with mousy hair and blotchy skin. She shrugged.

"You were trying to make your hair pink, weren't you?" He asked shrewdly.

She shrugged again. "Maybe."

"Why?" He asked as he sat in the wooden chair beside her bed again.

"I hate my hair." She mumbled.

He laughed. "It's just hair, Tonks."

"It's bloody awful. I look like something the cat threw up."

"Oh that's a lovely image." He replied.

Her head throbbed. "Thought you weren't coming." She said her voice accusatory.

"I'm sorry. I was delayed. Had to sneak in, you know."

Her heart bumped in her chest. "You snuck in? To see me?"

"I promised, didn't I?"

She closed her eyes. He hadn't promised, not exactly.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"No, thank you, Tonks. You gave me something to look forward to all day."

"Really?"

His fingers brushed her hand. "yes. Really."

In honesty, he'd argued with himself all day over the benefits and minuses of visiting her again. In the end, he had gone walking and ended up at St Mungo's.

When he was standing outside the door to her room, and heard her cry out, his heart had literally stopped in his chest.

He didn't want to think on it, not right now. He gazed at her face, even paler today than she'd been yesterday.

"Can't they give you a potion or something for your head?" He asked.

"Sadists. Say I've had all the potions I can have today."

"Anything I can do?" He took her hand in his, his thumb stroking the back of it.

She didn't answer right away, then she sighed. "Keep doing that?"

"What?"

"My hand. Keep rubbing my hand?"

He looked down. He hadn't even realized what he was doing. He continued caressing her hand.

"Do you like that?" He questioned his voice strangely hoarse.

Her lips curved a little. "Mmm."

He stayed with her until her breathing evened out, and he was certain she was asleep. Then he released her hand, standing up and bending over her.

Pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, he smoothed back her hair. "Sleep, love. I'll see you tomorrow."


	3. telling the sun not to shine

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! I'm so excited that they're canon now!

Disclaimer: I own nothin'.

"Remus, get me out of here." The belligerent order greeted him as he entered Tonks' room.

"You know I can't do that." He replied calmly.

"I'm going mad in here." Her lower lip poked out.

She was so cute when she pouted.

Her hair was once again her customary shade of pink, and the bandages and splint were gone. "You're feeling better, then?"

"Bored out of me skull." She announced.

"Perhaps I should leave?" He offered, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Don't you dare." She glared at him.

Chuckling, he took his usual seat beside her bed. "I brought you something."

She brightened. "Ooh. Gimme!"

He reached into his robes and pulled out a flat parcel. "I saw this and thought of you."

She snatched the package from him and tore into it. Then she made a face at him. "A book. I should have known."

Flipping the book over she read the title out loud. "Magical Accidents and How to Prevent Them."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Funny."

He shrugged. "Like I said, I saw it and thought of you." Thought of her and then told himself not to. But it was like telling the sun not to shine.

"So you gonna bust me out of here, or what?"

"Nymphadora..."

"Tonks." She interrupted.

"Tonks," he began again, "I'm sure that they'll release you soon."

"Not soon enough." She grumbled. "If another one of those mediwitches pokes me with her wand, she's gonna lose her hand."

He laughed aloud. She must be feeling better. "I'm not sure that'd convince them to let you out."

At his laughter Tonks smiled. He should really laugh more. He looked younger when he smiled. Not that he was old, but always being so serious added years to his face. She'd always thought he was handsome...

She blinked. Not good. Not good at all, Tonks. Shouldn't think of Remus like that.

"You have the oddest expression." Remus told her.

He's your friend, Tonks! Don't be daft.

She blushed.

"Tonks?" He looked concerned. "Are you alright?"

To distract him, she screwed up her face and turned her hair a violent shade of green.

He considered it, then shook his head. "I think I prefer it pink."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Really."

She beamed at him.

It was exactly like telling the sun not to shine.


	4. doom

A/N: I know this is a short chapter, but I'm just writing as it occurs to me.

disclaimer: the usual.

"Doom, doom, doom... Doom. Doom, doom, doom. Doom doom doom!"

Remus looked up from his book to frown at Tonks who was lounging in a wingback chair by the fire. "What are you doing?"

"Singing the doom song." She replied, using her wand to blow multicolored bubbles in his direction.

"The doom song." He said slowly.

She nodded happily. "Yup." More bubbles drifted at him.

He closed his book. "What, exactly, is the doom song?" He was afraid to ask.

"It's from a brilliant muggle program on the telly."

"Ah." He opened his book again.

"Doom doom doom."

"Tonks."

She sighed. "It's too quiet in here, Remus."

"Some of us like quiet." He leaned back on the sofa and stretched his long legs in front of him.

She fell silent, blowing more bubbles. Then...

"Doom doom." She whispered.

Without looking up, he grabbed the cushion next to him and tossed it at her, smirking at her peals of laughter.

_The doom song, for those who don't know is from Invader Zim. It's been stuck in my head for days_.


	5. shrubbery

A/N: Reviewers! I love you all! I'd respond individually but that takes time away from writing!

Longer chap this time!

Disclaimer: the usual.

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A week after leaving Harry in the dubious care of the Dursley's, Tonks joined Remus for night surveillance on Privet drive. They were both wearing invisibility cloaks, and were crouched behind the shrubbery in back of the Dursley's garden. 

"D'you think he's ok?" Tonks whispered.

"Harry?" Remus' disembodied voice replied. "He's a survivor. He'll be alright."

It was weird having a conversation with someone she could not see. She could feel his knee against her hip, but if she turned her head, she couldn't see anything.

Then again, not being able to see him kind of made it easier to talk to him.

"You ok?" She asked.

He hesitated for so long; she thought he wasn't going to answer. Then he said softly, "I will be."

Then he continued. "Of course, for me, ok is relative."

So many words she wanted to say to him just then. Yet nothing she thought would be appropriate.

Therefore, she remained quiet.

For about five minutes.

Then she let out a hiss as she shifted.

"What is it?" Remus asked.

"Leg's gone all tingly." She whispered. "I've got to stand up."

"Careful." He cautioned.

Tonks got to her feet without much trouble, the cloak remaining in place, covering her.

"Ooh, ow." She shook her leg a little.

It was when she tried to take a step that trouble happened. Her foot caught in the invisibility cloak, and she pitched forward.

She crashed into a prickly, thick leaved shrub.

The garden was suddenly flooded with light, and Harry's Uncle Vernon came out of the house, brandishing a fire poker like a club.

"Who's out here?" He blustered. "I know you're here."

Tonks froze, tangled helplessly in the shrubs.

"Don't move." Remus whispered to her as he worked to get her cloak loose.

"Show yourself!" Dursley shouted.

He stomped closer to where Tonks lay and Remus crouched beside her.

Remus swore and gripped Tonks under the arms, dragging her free of the bushes, leaving her cloak behind. She was visible for a split second before he threw himself and his cloak over her. His weight pressed her into the soft ground, and she hid her face against his chest.

Dursley paced and bellowed just on the other side of the shrubs.

If it weren't for Harry's uncle, Tonks decided, this would be a very interesting position to be in. She and Remus were pressed together from shoulder to thigh, so close; she could feel his heartbeat against her. Her hands were at his waist, and she fought the urge to pull him even closer.

She bit her lip. What are you thinking, Tonks? This is Remus.

Remus. Handsome, kind, wonderful Remus. She rubbed her nose against his shirt and sniffed.

Dursley poked at the shrubs. Finally, grumbling, he turned around and stomped away. Remus was statue still until Dursley disappeared back into the house, and the garden lights went out. Then he let out a harsh breath.

"That was close." He whispered into her hair.

Her hands were fisted in the soft fabric of his shirt. He started to get up, to move off her, and she clung to him.

"Tonks?" He looked down at her.

Then he forgot how to breathe.

The look in her eyes. In her eyes and all over her face. He had never seen quite that look before. At least not directed at him.

"Nymphadora..." He murmured, unable to look away.

Her hands fell away from his waist and she pushed herself up on her elbows.

If he didn't breath soon, he was going to black out.

She moved closer, until their mouths were an inch apart. "Remus."

For one shining moment, their breath mingled. And he wanted. Oh gods, how he wanted.

Then a silky voice came out of the darkness. "If you two are quite through?"

Remus sucked in a breath and surged to his feet, gripping Tonks by the hand and pulling her up after him.

"Severus." Remus greeted neutrally.

"As much as I dislike interrupting your... tryst, you are supposed to be watching the house." Snape sneered.

"Thank you, Severus." Remus answered coolly. "I am aware of that. Tonks had... a problem with her cloak, and I was just helping her."

"Imagine." The potions master drawled.

"You're here to relieve us, then?" Remus prompted.

Snape jerked his head in a nod.

"Well, then we'll bid you good night." Still holding her hand, Remus led Tonks away from the yard.

"Thanks for not telling." Tonks murmured.

"Nothing to tell." He replied. "Are you going back to headquarters tonight?"

She wished she were. So she could get him in some dark corner and finish... She shook her head. "No. I promised Molly I'd pop by the Burrow."

He nodded. "Ah. Well... Good night, Tonks." He stepped away and disapparated.

Tonks stared at the spot he had been. "Bloody hell."

She was in big trouble. Time to talk to Molly.


	6. a terrible thing

A/N: Pushy pushy reviewers. patience.. just kidding. Love all of you for taking the time to review.

Disclaimer: I don't any of these characters.

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"I've gone and fallen in love with him!" Tonks wailed.

Molly smiled indulgently as she set a mug of tea in front of the young witch. "That's wonderful, dear."

Tonks fisted her hands in her hair and tugged. "No! It's not. It's terrible."

Molly sat down across from her. "Why is it terrible?"

"Because." Tonks said miserably. "Because he's Remus. And I'm, well, me."

"Tonks." Molly asked gently, "what exactly happened tonight?"

Tonks quickly related the shrubbery incident, the almost kiss, and Snape's interruption. "For a minute there," she concluded, "Remus had this look in his eyes. This... almost desperation."

"And then he just left?" Molly asked.

Tonks nodded. "He must hate me."

"He doesn't hate you. Why would he? Besides I've see the way he looks at you." Molly replied.

The younger witch perked up. "How's that?"

"Oh, like you're the..." Molly trailed off as Arthur walked in the door. "Oh, hello dear."

Arthur came over and kissed his wife on the cheek. "Evening Tonks."

"Wotcher, Arthur."

He joined them at the table.

"How did the meeting go?" Molly asked.

"Remus has volunteered to go live among the werewolves." Arthur told them. "He going to try to talk to Greyback."

Tonks gasped. "Is he mental? They'll kill him!"

Arthur shook his head. "Remus doesn't seem to think so. He says he's the only one who can do it."

Tonks looked helplessly to Molly. "He's running away."

Molly pursed her lips.

"Running away from what?" Arthur asked.

"Me." Said Tonks.

"Whatever for?" Arthur countered, bemused.

She blushed. "Because I... we... uh..."

"Snogged him, did you?" Arthur asked, grinning.

"Did he say something?" Tonks demanded desperately. "He said something didn't he?"

He shook his head. "No ,of course not. This is Remus we're talking about."

"Oh god." She moaned. "He really does hate me."

"Because you kissed him?" When Tonks dropped her head to the table, Arthur looked to his wife for explanation.

"She didn't kiss him." Molly told him. "She almost did, then Severus showed up and interrupted."

"Oh. Right then. That explains it." Arthur said.

"Explains what?" Tonks' muffled voice asked.

"Well, he seemed a bit ruffled when he arrived."

Tonks lifted her head. "Ruffled how?"

"Couldn't say exactly." Arthur replied.

Tonks stood up. "Right. He's at headquarters right?"

Arthur nodded.

Her face set, Tonks went to the door. "I'm off, then. Thanks for the tea, Molly. Goodnight."

She left in a rush.

In the following silence, Arthur and Molly looked at each other over the table.

"Lupin and Tonks. eh?" Arthur commented.

Molly smiled. "I think its grand."

Arthur chuckled. "That man's in trouble."


	7. reasons

A/N You guys are either going to love me or hate me. BTW, my favorite artist is working on illustrations for this fic. Once completed, they'll be located in my deviantart gallery. I'll keep you posted.

Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah.

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Annoyance with Remus was a good motivational tool for Tonks. She managed to enter Grimmauld Place without any mishaps, sneak past the portrait of Sirius' mum without it screaming at her, and get up the stairs without tripping, muttering to herself all the while.

Then she burst through the door to Remus' room, attempting to catch him by surprise. "Lupin!" She shouted.

He finished folding a jumper and put it on the bed before turning around. "Tonks."

"Are you completely out of your mind?" She demanded.

He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Arthur told you."

She planted her fists on her hips. "Yes he told me."

He didn't respond.

"You should have told me if you were planning this. Or is this some sort of daft spur of the moment thing?"

"I've been planning this for a quite some time, Tonks."

"Really." She said, her voice dripping sarcasm. If he'd been planning this, why hadn't he mentioned it?

He lifted his brows. "Yes, really. Why would you think otherwise?"

She stomped further into the room. "It seems to me that the timing is awfully convenient."

"Well," he said softly, "timing is everything."

Tonks gaped at him for a moment. "You _are _running away from me."

He turned away from her, starting to fold more of his clothes. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would I do that?"

"Because I tried to kiss you." She said in a small voice.

His shoulders jerked, but he didn't turn around. "That was just your reaction to the situation. I'm sure it meant nothing."

"Just my..." She spluttered. "My reaction to..."

She reached out and grabbed his arm, forcibly turning him around. "You can't really be that thick."

He shrugged. "It's a common enough occurence. People are influenced by circumstances."

"Give me some bloody credit, Remus."

He studied her gravely. "Tonks, what are you saying? That you intended to kiss me? That it had nothing to do with my timely rescue, nothing to do with the fact that we were in such an... intimate position?"

"Give the man an effing gold star."

He shook his head. It couldn't be. She was jesting, surely. He knew his feelings were not appropriately friend-like towards her, but he never imagined, never dared dream that it might be mutual.

"You're jesting." He responded hoarsely.

"I've never been more serious." She said, releasing her grip on his arm. "I care about you, Remus."

"I care about you too..."

She held up her hand. "No, let me finish. I care about you. I fancy you. Have since the start, really. I can hardly keep my eyes from you, and never know what to say."

He looked stricken.

She plowed ahead. "I wanted to kiss you tonight, Remus. I needed to. I love you."

"You don't know what you're saying, Tonks. It's just a... an infatuation. A crush."

"I'm not a child, Remus. I know the difference."

"No, you'll see, a fortnight after I'm gone, you won't feel the same." He insisted desperately.

"Well, you're right about that." She said. "I'll feel worse. I'll feel guilty that you did this to get away from me."

"I'm not doing it to get away from you."

Her eyes narrowed, and her gaze locked on his. "Do you love me, Remus?"

His face drained of color. "Don't do this, Nymphadora." He whispered. "Not now."

"Do. You. Love. Me?"

He let his head drop. "No. I don't." He said weakly, not looking at her.

"Not good enough." She hissed. "Look at me and tell me you don't."

He lifted his head, his eyes wild. "I don't..." He let out a harsh breath. "I don't know. I don't know, Tonks. I can't."

"Can't?"

"I can't. It isn't right. You deserve better."

Disbelief crossed her face. "Deserve better? Shouldn't I be the judge of that?"

"You and I... it wouldn't work, Tonks."

"Why not?"

"I'm too old for you, for one. Nearly fourteen in years, and ages in life."

"That's just insulting, Remus." She said, rolling her eyes. "To you, and to me for thinking I'd care."

"How about the fact that I haven't had a steady job in 3 years. Or any job for that matter. I've bugger all to my name, and that isn't going to change in the foreseeable future."

"I'm not a gold digger. It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me." He said quietly.

She shook her head. "You've yet to come up with a reason that means a whit to me."

"I'm a werewolf, Tonks!" He yelled. "Don't you see? I'm a danger to everyone around me."

"That's not true and you know it! The potion..."

The potion?" He interrupted. "I've already proven that I can't be trusted to take my potion all the time."

"That was just once, Remus, and under extreme circumstances."

"But it happened. And I'm not staking my entire future on a potion. Mine or yours."

She almost smiled. "That's very sweet, and noble, Remus; but it's not only up to you."

"It is up to me." He replied. "It has to be."

He turned away from her again, picking up his satchel from the bed. He looped the strap over his shoulder.

"This conversation is over, Tonks. There's no point to it." He turned again.

She was crying now, tears dripping down her face. The vibrant pink of her hair was fading, changing into the mousy brown she'd had at St. Mungo's.

"Please, Remus." She begged.

"I'm sorry." He whispered brokenly. "You'll see. You'll see I'm right." He lifted his hand to her face, then seemed to think better of it.

"I've got to go."

"Remus, No." She reached for him now.

He evaded her and walked slowly to the door, like a man heading to his execution. "I'm sorry."

Then he was gone.


	8. with the wolves

A/N: OI! Reviewers! Luv you all! As a special treat, a preliminary drawing for the illustrations has been posted. I'm having trouble linking. if any of you can help me, email me. if you want the link, email me. Over 100 reviews!

* * *

Remus lay on his back staring up at the stars through the trees, one arm wrapped around his still aching ribs. 

The severe beating that he'd endured without complaint had cemented his place on the outskirts of the pack.

'Coward' the other wolves called him. 'Tame'.

He wondered absently if that were really true. The tame part. He already knew he was a coward.

Hadn't he run away when offered what he most wanted?

Tonks.

He allowed his thoughts to fly to her. He wondered if she'd gotten over their conversation yet. If she'd given up on him yet.

It was what had to be. He knew that.

But one stubborn little part of him still hoped uselessly.

That same willful part of him kept remembering the look in her eyes when she was lying beneath him that night.

The ache he felt now had nothing to do with his ribs, and everything to do with his foolish heart.

"Too old. Too poor. Too dangerous." He whispered. He'd been repeating it to himself over and over, like a mantra.

Valid points, all.

She'd shot them down one by one.

He flung his arm over his head, wincing when his ribs protested.

Was he tamed? He did what he had to to fit in, always had. Did that make him tame? Did that make him any less dangerous?

No.

He was, and ever would be, a werewolf.

"Lupin." A voice growled from the darkness. "Hunt."

Remus knew that voice. Fenrir Greyback. Carefully, he rose and followed the other werewolf. He had not been asked on a hunt yet, and knew he was being tested.

He joined a small group of werewolves which crept into a nearby muggle village. He hoped that his skill as a thief, honed by seven years of pranks at Hogwart's, would be enough.

They split up once inside the village, moving soundlessly through the streets. Remus crept along a street of shops, ready to duck into a likely looking alleyway.

He was just at the entrance to one such alley, when he heard an unlikely sound.

"Hsst."

Ducking into the shadows. his eyes scanning the darkness around him. Slowly, he drew his wand.

"Remus!" He knew that whispering voice.

He glanced over his shoulder and edged further in.

"Over here." She hissed. Faint wand light flared briefly.

He leapt at the light, pinning the individual who'd made it against the brick wall. She made no attempt to fight him.

"Wotcher, Remus."

His hands gripped her shoulders. "Tonks, what the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Dumbledore asked me to check up on you." She answered mildly.

In the darkness he could just make out her features. She looked drawn, tired. Her hair was a nondescript color that looked grey in the dark.

"You could have been killed." He ground out.

Her smile flashed, disappearing too quickly. "Not likely."

"If the others had found you first..."

"They didn't. You did."

"How did you know the pack would be here?"

"I tracked you." She said smugly.

He realized he was still pinning her to the wall and released her suddenly. "How?"

She shrugged. "I am a fully fledged auror, Remus."

"Which means you should know better than to go blindly into a dangerous situation." He growled.

"Which means," she replied chidingly, "that it's my job to go blindly into a dangerous situation."

Abashed, he let his gaze drop. "You're right. I'm sorry. Just... if anything happened to you..." He trailed off, suddenly aware of what he was admitting.

Her voice softened. "I had to see you."

Oh god, she was breaking his heart all over again. And then, she darted forward, pressing her lips to his.

He forced himself to remain passive, even though he wanted nothing more than to drag her close. When she stepped back a moment later, she was frowning.

"Remus?"

He took a deep breath. "Tonks... please. Don't do this to me."

"Do this to you?" She huffed. "What about what you're doing to me? Why won't you believe in me?"

"It has nothing to do with that." He told her.

"It has everything to do with that." She said, suddenly fierce. She reached out and gripped the front of his shirt, dragging him close with unexpected strength. "You make useless excuses, trying to push me away. It won't work, Lupin."

Why did she have to keep invading his space like this? Her scent filled his nose, intoxicating and sweet, and he wondered why he kept fighting.

"I'm trying to protect you." He whispered wretchedly.

She made a sound of disgust and released him, pushing him away. "Fine. Bugger off. Go back to your werewolves."

She stalked away, disappearing into the gloom. A moment later there was a faint pop as she disapparated.

"Too old, too poor, too dangerous." Remus whispered.


	9. tea and sympathy

A/N: illustrations are being posted! Link located in my livejournal. You can get there from my profile, or email me for a link. Thanks to the very talented Mechaban for seeing what's in my head.

Please look! You won't be disappointed.

Don't know why, but these lyrics always make me thing of Remus.

_I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night  
He's gotta be strong  
And he's gotta be fast  
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight  
I need a hero  
I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light  
He's gotta be sure  
And it's gotta be soon  
And he's gotta be larger than life_

Frou Frou Holding out for a hero

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns these wonderful characters, I've just borrowed them for a bit of fun.

Dialogue at the end straight from HBP. Again I borrowed it. No harm meant.

* * *

The Burrow looked warm and welcoming, aglow with yellow light, when Tonks apparated down the lane from it. She trudged along the lane, her heart heavy. Why? Why was he being such a fool? Such a wonderful, chivalrous fool.

She needed advice.

So once again, she'd talk to Molly.

Within minutes, she was seated at the kitchen table, a steaming mug of tea in front of her, Molly sitting across from her.

"So what's happened, dear?" Molly asked gently.

Tonks responded by doing the only thing she could. She burst into tears. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed. "I hate him, Molly, I absolutely hate that man."

Molly clucked, handing her a tea towel to wipe her eyes with. "No, you don't. What happened?"

Tonks hiccupped. "I went to check in with Remus. I went and found him in an alley, in a muggle village. I told him that Dumbledore sent me."

"In an alley?" Molly gasped, "Was he alright?"

Tonks frowned. "Well, he did look as if he'd been in a fight..." She said slowly. She bit her lip. "I assumed he was alright."

Then she shook her head. "He was fine. That's not the point."

Molly nodded. "Go on."

"He scolded me." Tonks said with disgust. "Like I was a child." She twisted the towel around her finger. "But then he started to say if anything happened to me..."

"See? He does care." Pointed out the older witch.

"I kissed him, Molly. Finally. Just stepped up and laid one on him." She sniffled.

"Oh, that's brilliant, Tonks!" Molly beamed.

Tonks sobbed. "No. It's not! He didn't even kiss me back!"

Molly reached out and patted her hand. "Darling. He's doing what he thinks is best. You can't fault him for that, even though it's misguided."

"Misguided." The younger witch snorted through her tears. "Right."

"He's trying to protect you." She held up her hand when Tonks started to speak. "We all think he's taking a ridiculous position on this, but it is kind of sweet."

"That only makes it worse Molly."

"He is being a bit thickheaded, but he'll come around eventually, you'll see." Molly said.

"Maybe I should just give in. Leave him be." Tonks whispered.

Molly shook her head. "You know you can't. You can't just turn off what you feel. I've always thought it would take a strong woman to care for Remus. I'm sure you're that woman."

She opened her mouth to say more, but a knock at the door had her leaping to her feet, her hand pressed to her chest. "Goodness! Who could that be at this hour?"

She went to the door, calling. "Who's there? Declare yourself."

"It is I, Dumbledore, bringing Harry."

Molly glanced at Tonks and opened the door. While she was talking to Dumbledore, Tonks wiped her eyes and drank down the rest of her tea.

"Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"

"Hello, Professor. Wotcher Harry."

She stood up and pulled her cloak around her. "I'd better be off. Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."

She waved off the entreaties to stay and hurried outside, not meeting Dumbledore's eyes. She was afraid that he would see, see what was in her heart and not approve.

A few paces from the door, she turned and disapparated.


	10. Christmas

A/N: Once again, illustrations are being posted! Link located in my livejournal.(CalliopeJones) You can get there from my profile, or email me for a link. Thanks to the very talented Mechaban for seeing what's in my head.

Please look! You won't be disappointed.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns these wonderful characters, I've just borrowed them for a bit of fun.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Remus arrived just outside of Tonks' flat. He was hoping that he wouldn't find her here, that she had actually gone to her family for Christmas.

He knocked lightly.

"Bugger off!" Tonks shouted from inside.

"It's Remus." He called, shoving his hands in his pockets.

There was a thud, muffled curses, and then the door swung open. "Wotcher, Remus. Thought it was those blasted carolers again."

She looked... terrible. Her hair was tangled and unkempt, still that same nondescript shade, there were dark circles around her eyes, and she was wearing enormous flannel pyjamas that bagged around her feet.

"You look awful." He blurted out. He wished he could take it back as soon as he said it.

"Oh, ta ever so, Remus." She said, turning and padding back into the living room. She threw herself down on the couch. "You're not exactly a prize yourself right now, you know."

He did know. Living with the pack was rough, to say the least. "Sleeping outside in the winter doesn't agree with my old bones." He said with a shrug.

"Remus, you are _not_ old. Why do you always say that?"

He sighed and went to the couch. She drew up her feet so he could sit. When he was settled, she plopped her feet in his lap.

"I don't want to fight with you, Tonks." He said softly, putting his hands on her ankles.

"Well, that's good. Me neither." She gazed at him, noticing the new scars on his face. One along his jaw, fairly fresh looking, and an older one circling over his right eye.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"Molly told me that you said you were spending Christmas alone. Why?"

She shrugged. "Felt like it. Didn't want me mum fluttering around me, and definitely didn't want to go to the Burrow."

"Because I was there?" He kept his eyes on his hands, dreading her response.

She hummed. "No, not really. To be honest, it's Fleur. She makes me crazy."

"She seems to have that effect on a lot of people." He agreed.

"She's just so pretty. Too pretty if you ask me. It's weird. And then she made a comment about me letting myself go. Really. It's not my fault that I'm having trouble morphing." She stopped talking abruptly.

"You're having trouble morphing?" He questioned sharply, concern in his voice. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's nothing, Remus. It'll come back." She hoped. "Besides, when would I have told you? I haven't seen you."

"I'm rather concerned, Nymphadora."

When had she started liking the way he said her name?

"It's nothing, I told you."

"Harry told me that your patronus changed. And you're having trouble morphing as well?" He leaned closer. "That's not 'nothing'."

"Should've known he'd tell you." She grumbled. "Did he tell you about what Malfoy did on the train?"

"What Malfoy did?" He stopped. "Don't change the subject, Nymphadora."

"Stop calling me that, Remus."

"It's your name, Nymphadora."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"What has your patronus changed to?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Not telling you. You'll have to wait and see." She didn't want him to see. She didn't want him to know.

"Harry said it was big and four-legged."

"Lots of things are. Let it go, Lupin. I'm not telling you."

He fell silent, his fingers stroking her ankle. Looking around her flat, he noted that it was considerably neater than the last time he'd seen it. There was even a Christmas tree in the corner.

Well, he assumed it was a Christmas tree. It more resembled a twig leaking tinsel and pine needles all over the floor.

"What happened to your tree?"

Tonks glanced at it, tilting her head. "Nothing happened to my tree. What's wrong with my tree?"

"It's a bit... shabby." He said carefully.

She smiled at him. "Well, so are you, but I still like you."

Her smile warmed him. "I can't really do anything about me, but what if..." He drew his wand and flicked it at the tree.

Tinsel and pine needles flew up into the air, circling the tree. There was a flash of light, and the tree was restored, refined; glittering silver and white, branches thick and full.

Tonks clapped her hands. "Oh, that's lovely."

She swung her legs around and came up on her knees beside him. "Why did you really come here tonight, Remus?"

He stared resolutely at the tree. "I told you."

"No, you didn't. Not really."

Remus swallowed hard. How could he possibly admit to her...? He'd shrugged it off when Molly said that Tonks was alone on Christmas, but her words had eaten at him all night.

"Remus?"

He lifted his eyes to meet her curious gaze. "I couldn't bear the thought of you being alone on Christmas. I've been, in the past, and I didn't want... that for you."

She stared at him for the longest time. Then she moved even closer, leaning in a pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"I'm not alone." She told him. "You're here, even when you're not."

"I shouldn't be." He whispered.

She wanted to hit him. How could he be so sweet and so infuriating at the same time? She reached out and flattened her hand against his chest, just over his heart. "Remus, can we for one night just pretend?"

"Pretend?" He couldn't move. Her light touch had pinned him as effectively as a binding hex.

"Just for tonight. Make believe that we are just two people who care about each other? Pretend for one night that the differences between us don't exist."

Did she have any idea what she was asking of him? He took a shuddering breath. It was torture, pure and simple. She was _trying_ to torment him.

"Just for tonight." She repeated. "Call it a Christmas present."

He ought to say no. Ought to say no and leave right now. However, the thought of leaving right then was more excruciating than anything he'd ever endured. And then she was curling up against his side, tucking herself neatly under his arm. She was so warm and soft against him.

To imagine just for one night that she could be his. That he could be hers. To have one night to remember when he was lying on the cold hard ground with Greyback's pack.

He shifted a little, curling his arm around her more securely. When she looked up at him, her cheek resting against his chest, he offered a smile.

"Happy Christmas, Tonks."


	11. not thinking of you

A.N.: The response to this fic simply blows my mind. Honestly. At this time 159 reviews! It's like having friends!

Disclaimer: The almighty JK owns all. I'm simply playing with them.

* * *

He was gone when she woke. 

She was tucked carefully in her bed, quilt pulled neatly up to her shoulders. Her dilapidated teddy bear had been placed sitting on the pillow beside her, standing guard. There was a piece of parchment propped against the bear's feet.

Tonks considered her position for a moment. She remembered dozing off on the couch, which meant that Remus had tucked her into bed.

She wished she'd been awake for that.

Yawning and stretching, she picked up the parchment. He'd written 'Nymphadora' on the front in his deliberate script.

She stuck her tongue out at it and flipped the note open.

_I shan't tell you that I regret staying_

_with you last night, though I ought to._

_Last night was more than I ever_

_imagined I could have._

_Nothing has changed._

_My argument remains the same._

_I care about you more than I ought to,_

_and think on you often._

_Yours,_

_Remus_

"Oh, damn." She whispered. "Damn, damn, damn."

She read the note again, then dropped it on the bed. Why was the man so bloody stubborn? So bloody stubborn, and so sweet.

"Yours, Remus." She said out loud. "Oh, merlin." How could she ever give up on him? She decided then and there, she wouldn't. She'd pester him 'til he gave in.

First thing she needed to do, she thought, is to go to the ministry and borrow an owl.

Within hours of his return to Greyback's pack, Remus accepted that reasoning with Fenrir was an exercise in futility. Without a word to the other members of the pack, he put his satchel over his shoulder and left.

He apparated to the Burrow, where Molly Weasley took one look at him and clucked her tongue. She bustled him inside, sat him at the table and began to feed him.

When he was halfway through a second helping of stew, she sat across from him. "Really, Remus, haven't you been eating?"

He swallowed. "Only what I could steal, Molly. And these days, there's not much left to take."

"You have to look after yourself better." She chided.

He grinned. "I came here for feeding, didn't I?"

She returned his smile. "Charmer."

He winked. "When are you going to run away with me?"

She laughed. "I think I'd have some competition there."

He sobered, his gaze dropping to the table. "No, I don't think so."

"Remus, why are you being so ridiculously stubborn about this?" Molly said gently. "She wants to be with you."

He sighed. "Molly, I'm far too old for her."

"She doesn't think so."

"I have nothing to offer her."

Molly shook her head. "How can you say that? You have plenty to offer."

Remus pushed away his bowl and slumped in his chair. "Someone like Tonks... she deserves someone young. Someone whole."

"Has she given any indication that she wants that? No. She's been in a right state over you. Frankly, I'm deeply concerned about her."

He studied the older witch. "Are you implying that her problems have something to do with me?"

"Don't be dense, Remus. I know you went to see her last night. You must have noticed that she's not her usual colorful self."

"I did, and I asked her about it. She said it was nothing."

At that moment, a large tawny owl swooped through the window and landed in front of Remus, thrusting its leg out imperiously. There was a scroll tied to it.

He untied the scroll and opened it.

_Remus._

_You are the most infuriating man._

_You left before I could properly seduce_

_you._

_Everything has changed and you know it._

_Your Nymphadora_

_p.s. you're thinking of me right now, aren't_

_you, you naughty boy._

He sent the owl back with a carefully thought out response.

_Tonks._

_I was well seduced by your enormous_

_flannel pyjamas._

_Nothing has changed._

_R.L._

_p.s. I meant to say I **don't** think on you_

_often._

An hour later, as he was sitting in the Wealey's garden, watching the gnomes, the same owl returned.

_Remus,_

_I'm sure you were aware that there was_

_nothing under that flannel._

_Ha! I know you're thinking of me now._

_Tonks_

His response was swift.

_Tonks._

_The appalling cheekiness of your note has_

_me wondering if the Ministry knows what_

_filthy minds their Aurors have._

_I've not thought of you all day._

_R._

This time when the owl returned, it was looking slightly harassed.

_R._

_Where do you think I got it?_

_T._

_p.s. if you're not thinking of me all day,_

_how about not thinking of me at the_

_Leaky Cauldron tonight at 6?_

Remus absently petted the owl as he thought about his response. He really shouldn't encourage her, but meeting at the Leaky Cauldron for a drink was harmless enough.

_Tonks._

_It's possible I may be in the area. I_

_definitely won't be thinking of you._

_R._


	12. leaky cauldron

You like me! you really like me!

usual disclaimer here.

* * *

Remus got to the Leaky Cauldron just before six. He was stunned to see Tonks at a corner table, as he'd assumed she'd be late.

When he got closer, he noticed the number of empty glasses in front of her, and surmised that she'd been here for a while.

"Tonks?"

She looked up at him. "Wotcher, Remus."

"Been here long?" He asked, taking the seat across from her. He signaled to the barmaid to bring him a mug of butterbeer.

She was swaying slightly in her seat now. "Remus?"

"Yes, Tonks?" He replied, vaguely amused.

She pointed at him, closing one eye to focus. "You're too damn attractive. You know that?"

He gave her a wry smile. "I doubt you'd find much agreement on that."

She shook her head emphatically, almost falling off her chair in the process. "No! Ish true."

"Tonks, women aren't exactly falling over themselves to get to me."

"I am." She said with the brutal honesty of the very drunk. "Literlur… literally."

"Which I am bewildered by."

"I'm clumsy." She said in a loud whisper. "S'why I fall down a lot."

"No. Not that." He said slowly. "Why me, Tonks? Why are you after me, of all people?"

She stared at him owlishly for a moment. Then she shrugged elaborately. "Dunno, really. S'not as if I chose you. Din't say, 'now here's a bloke who'll turn me down at every oppor... oopper… chance.' Just was. Jus' looked at you and thought, he could use a friend."

He wondered if she would remember this conversation in the morning. "We are friends."

Her eyes widened. "I know! Tha's why, when I figured it out, I told meself, I said, Tonks, he's your friend."

She picked up her glass, which was empty and peered into it. Then she set it back down on the table with a plunk.

"And then I answered meself, saying, yes Tonks, but he's so very shaggable, all long and lean. And the way he smiles at you, and the way his hair falls over his eyes when he's reading, and those hands, and the way his eyes go all dreamy when he's thinking important thoughts, and he's so brave and clever and sad…" She trailed off, eyeing his half-full mug of butterbeer.

"You gonna drink that?" She asked hopefully.

"I think you've had enough for tonight." He replied gently. He was astonished by her words. Was that really what she thought of him?

"But then you have to go and be so bloody noble." She continued peevishly.

"I'm only trying to keep you from getting hurt." He admitted softly.

She stood up swiftly, knocking over her chair. She came around the table, stumbling twice, and then grabbed the lapels of his robes. "I don't care!" She announced in a loud voice.

He reached up to pry her hands free. "Tonks, please sit down."

She tightened her grasp, leaning even closer. "I don't care whatcha are or whatcha have." She practically bellowed.

"Tonks, please." He said desperately. "You're drawing an audience."

She looked around at the other patrons of the pub, many of which were now watching them with interest.

"Fine." She said, releasing his robes. "I'm going home." She turned on her heel and stumbled, catching herself on the next table. She continued on, walking to the door with excruciating care.

Remus stayed where he was until she was out the door. He'd better go follow her, he decided. Make sure she didn't do herself a harm by trying to apparate or something.

He stood up and threw some coins on the table, pointedly ignoring the whispers around him.

He was, by nature, a very private man, and did not like having so many people witness that particular scene. He strode out of the pub, nodding to Tom who was wiping glasses behind the bar.

He stepped out into the cold night air and looked for Tonks. He spotted her a few yards away, holding the edges of her cloak out and flapping it like wings.

Laughing, he jogged to catch up to her. "Tonks, what are you doing?"

She glared at him. "Got to get meself home don't I?"

"You're not going to manage it like that." He grasped her elbow and pulled her toward an alley. "Come on, let me help."

She grumbled under her breath. "Don't need your help."

"Humor me." He said. "Let an old werewolf feel useful."

"Yer not old."

"I'm positively ancient." He said. Then he wrapped his arms around her slight frame. "Hold on."

There was an odd joy in feeling her arms slide around him. He steeled himself against it, and concentrated on apparating back to her flat.


	13. hesitation

A/N: I won't be updating for a few days... out of town on urgent ministry business.

but seriously. I hope this tides you over.

disclaimer: i own nuthin.

* * *

In the morning, he watched her sleep. He found it was easier to think on her when she wasn't awake, looking back at him with those big, hopeful eyes. 

He had only meant to check on her. Nevertheless, when he'd peeked in the door and saw her lying on the bed in a sprawl of slender limbs, black lace and pale skin, he was frozen to the spot.

Spending the night on her sofa, he'd been all too aware of the scant space that separated them. Sleep had not come easily, and waking had come too soon. Disjointed dreams of chasing, and being chased left him feeling exhausted.

It had been easier for him to stay here for the night than to go back to the Burrow, despite the invitation from Molly to stay. Besides, he suspected that when Tonks woke, she wouldn't be feeling all that well.

When he was finally able to tear his gaze away –_she's nearly naked you arse_—he went to the kitchen to make some tea.

Tea brewed and carefully doctored, he padded back to her bedroom. The room was cheerful and bright, much like she was normally.

She was just beginning to wake, whimpering.

"Oh, bloody, fucking hell." She whispered.

"Nymphadora?" He called softly.

"Go away and let me die in peace." She moaned, rolling onto her stomach and pulling a pillow over her head.

He knelt beside her bed. "Dora, I brought you tea." His voice was gentle and friendly, but his eyes had just found the delicate fairy tattooed just below the edge of lace – _don't look at that, you fool._

"Don't want tea." Her muffled voice said.

"You want this tea, trust me." He replied, resolutely staring at the pillow her voice came from.

She lifted the edge of the pillow and peered at him blearily. "I do? Is it poisoned?" The was an edge of hope.

He smiled indulgently. "No, this is better. Lupin's patented hangover cure."

She flipped the pillow off her had a gingerly sat up. "You have a patented cure?"

"One would have to with James and Sirius as best mates."

She eyed the cup he offered. "Guess it couldn't get worse."

"Ta ever so for the confidence." He said wryly, handing over the cup.

She sniffed it delicately, then took a sip. "Ugh."

"Trust me, it's worth it."

Pinching her nose, she downed the brew, handed the cup back and collapsed back on the bed.

"Disgusting." She commented. She lay still for a moment and then opened her eyes.

"Well?"

She yawned, and stretched, her limbs sliding sinuously over tangled sheets. Remus closed his eyes, and then covered them with his hand.

"Oh, much better." She sighed.

He heard her move around some more and then her voice asked, "Remus? Why are you covering your eyes?"

"Thought you might like some privacy." He replied, cursing inwardly as he felt his cheeks heat.

Her laughter was intoxicating. "You're embarrassed that I'm in me knickers?"

He chose not to respond. Really, how could he respond to that?

"You do know that these cover more than my bathing suit, right?"

He didn't know that, and now he cursed the knowledge, and the mental images that came with it.

She sighed, and he heard more rustling. "Right. I'm covered now; you can open your eyes."

He let his hand drop slowly. She was covered, after a fashion. "Is that my shirt?" He asked.

She blushed this time. "Whoops."

"You nicked my shirt?"

"I didn't steal it. Borrowed it."

"Ah. And there's a difference?" He asked, smiling a little.

She folded her arms over her chest. "Course there is. I might give it back."

"I'll wait with breathless anticipation."

She made a face. "Funny."

For several minutes, they stood in awkward silence, studying each other.

He was far more casual than she'd ever seen him before. His shirt was rumpled and untucked, and his feet were bare. It made him all the more appealing.

She bit her lip. "Did I... um, say anything horrible last night?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not exactly, no."

He seemed to consider. "You didn't say anything horrible. Not really." He paused. "Why were you..."

"Getting pissed?" She offered. "Had a shit day. Scrimgouer was making a pest of himself and that Umbridge woman was making noise. On top of everything else, it seemed like the thing to do."

He nodded. "Well. If you're feeling better, I should probably go."

_No, don't go_, she thought. _Stay so I can step on those sexy bare feet of yours and peel that shirt off... _"Yeah. Probably. I've got to work."

He tucked his hands in his pants pockets. "And I... well, don't. But I should at least let Molly know we're both alive so she doesn't send out a search party."

"Ok."

"So, good morning then, Tonks."

Was it her imagination, or did he seem reluctant to leave? "Thanks for the tea."

"My pleasure." He said.

"I'll see you around." She said.

He opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something else; then he shut it and simply nodded to her. He turned and left her bedroom. She heard him gather up his things and then the woosh of the floo.


	14. patronus

A/N: I'm back! I know that this chapter is a little short, but it'll be worth it trust me. I had a chapter all set to go, but this one demanded to go first. By the way, don't forget to check mechaban's deviant art gallery for illustrations. you can find the link in my live journal. While your at my journal, say hi!

disclaimer: I own less than nothing.

* * *

A month later, He saw her new patronus for the first time. They were dealing with dementors in Sussex; the dark creatures had converged upon a playground and were attacking children.

Tonks had gone off to the other side of the park saying that she'd spotted something. He was almost relieved that she wasn't by his side. Her constant presence in his life and in his mind made it difficult for him to deny what he felt.

In fact, he was at a loss to define what it was he felt for her. It was entirely improper, he was sure. There were dozens of reasons why, but whenever she was near, he had trouble remembering a single one.

She had a way of making him forget his intentions. Forget propriety and forget himself. He found himself actually flirting with her, which he was sure would have sent Sirius into convulsions of mirth.

He knew he should stop it before things got too far, but she had become the light in his darkness.

Skulking around the edges of the park, he pondered that. Who would have ever thought that a young punky witch would hold such allure.

Glancing toward the other side of the park, he could see her creeping along. The part of him that he struggled to contain, wanted to go to her and protect her. He knew that she could take care of herself, but he still couldn't help feeling as though she needed looking after.

As the thought crossed his mind, he heard her cry out, and looked up to see a silver shape emerge from where she was standing. Three dementors hovered in the air around her, and her patronus leapt at them.

Breath lodged in his throat, he sprinted closer, his wand out to call his own patronus. However, as he approached, hers drove the dementors off.

He was close enough now to see a distinct shape. A large four-legged shape, as Harry had said.

Unlike Harry, he knew this shape.

A wolf. Well, a werewolf actually.

He came to a halt and just stared as the silvery beast looked at him, then faded away.

Her patronus had become a werewolf.

_How powerful could that be?_ He wondered. When she turned and saw him standing near, unease appeared on her face.

"I was afraid to tell you." She said softly.

He let his wand arm drop. "How long has it been?"

"Since the ministry."

He nodded slowly.

"Remus…"

He cut her off. "We should keep looking. There might be more dementors."

Then he turned and walked away.

She stared after him. _Bloody hell._ "Remus!"

He kept walking.

She jogged after him. "Remus, wait."

He didn't slow down, and when she grabbed his arm, he shook her off. "We have work to do."

"I know that." She said crossly. "Don't you have anything to say?"

He stopped then, and turned to face her. The glow from a streetlight painted his face with harsh angles, bringing his scars out in sharp relief. He gazed down at her, his face unreadable.

"Well?" She demanded.

He reached out, his hand lifting slowly to stroke her cheek. Then he sighed, letting his hand drop. "I don't have anything to say to you."

He turned away and started walking again. "I'm going to keep looking. You can go ahead back." He called over his shoulder.

She'd been dismissed.


	15. wolf moon rising

A/N: Well, I KNOW this is going to get you guys going. Review! Visit my LJ! Email me!

disclaimer: JK own these wonderful characters and I don't.

* * *

As days, nights, and weeks crept by, the members of the order lay low. When it came time for the full moon, and time for Remus to sequester himself, he made the decision to go back to the shrieking shack. The others argued, most vehemently Tonks, but he insisted that it was best.

The time he'd spent with Greyback had given the wolf inside him a taste of freedom, and he suspected that this change would be difficult, despite the Wolfsbane potion brewed by Snape. As it was, this close to the full moon, he was irritable and on edge.

The other members of the order finally agreed to abide by his decision, and Tonks relented sullenly.

He didn't know if it was morbid curiosity that made her so eager to see his change, or something else entirely that he was afraid to name.

As he prepared to leave the Burrow, Tonks cornered him on the stairs. He tried to keep his distance from her, as her scent was stronger to him now, but she advanced on him until he was backed up against the wall.

"I don't like it." She told him.

"I don't either," he replied with a shrug, "but it's the way it has to be."

"Why? You've said yourself that the potion makes you a harmless wolf."

"That was before, Tonks." He said quietly.

She cocked her head to one side. "Before what?"

He didn't answer. He didn't have to, really.

"Before you lived with Greyback?" She asked astutely.

"I couldn't take the potion when I was there." He replied carefully.

She nodded. "Did something happen?"

He grimaced. "I don't really remember much, Tonks." He did remember waking up one morning covered in blood. Only some of which was his own. He'd had a cold sweaty moment of terror before he'd spotted the remains of a large rabbit nearby.

"You're a good man, Remus." She told him softly. "You couldn't..."

"You can't be sure of that." He cut her off.

She moved in then, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tight. "I am sure of it."

_God._ The feel of her against him, however innocently she meant it, made him want to throw his head back and howl.

Later, he would tell himself that it was because it was so close to the full moon, and because his control was already frayed. His hands came up and slid into her hair, fisting around the brown strands and tugging, pulling her head back.

Her eyes widened as they met his, and her lips parted. What little sanity he had left made him wonder what she saw in his eyes, but the thought was quickly lost when he bent his head, claiming her mouth in a fierce kiss.

It was as if the world around them fell away. She pressed herself against him, her hands sliding up his back.

Even though her body was plastered against his, he pulled her closer, one hand cupping the back of her head, the other dropping to the curve of her hip.

She made a helpless sound, and in response, he growled softly. Then one of her hands was slipping under his shirt, blazing a trail of fire over his skin.

He couldn't get enough of the taste of her, he was devouring her lips, breathing deep of her scent. His hands were rough on her, dragging her close, as if he could assimilate her into his being.

Then there was a cough. A very polite, soft clearing of the throat.

They parted, gasping for breath, staring at each other as if they were each a strange new breed.

Molly stood at the foot of the stairs, a parcel wrapped in brown paper in her hands.

"I packed some things for you to eat, Remus." She said amusement on her face.

"Thank you, Molly." He said his voice not quite steady. "I'll be leaving shortly."

Molly placed the package on the bottom step and waved a hand at him. "No hurry. You and Tonks go back to… well." She turned and went back to the kitchen.

Remus shoved his hands in his trouser pockets to keep from reaching for Tonks again. "Tonks, I…"

"Don't you dare apologize, Lupin." She ordered, fisting her hands on her hips.

"I just don't…"

"_You_ kissed _me_, remember?" She told him.

"Yes, I know." He said quickly.

She glared at him mutinously.

He sighed. "Oh, sod it." He grabbed her and hauled her close for a quick hard kiss, then released her, turning and jogging down the stairs. He picked up the package from Molly and disappeared into the kitchen. He did not look back, and Tonks was too stunned to call to him.

A moment later, she heard the door open and close, and knew he had left.


	16. the change

A/N: I had not intended on finishing this chapter so soon. I am drained.

* * *

Tonks was not the type of woman to go completely mental over a man.

Not typically.

Yet here she was, huddled in the frigid hallway of a falling-down-around-her shack waiting.

Waiting for her man to be a man again.

Reliving that moment on the stairs over and over again. Her cheeks burned at the memory of his hands on her.

She had been exerting a small amount of self control up until now, allowing herself to only think about Remus-the-man and not Remus-dear-god-can-you-imagine-what's-under-those-robes. Now it was all she could think about.

How could he kiss her like that and just leave?

Bloody bastard. Bloody, wonderful, sexy bastard.

She imagined his hands roughly pulling her close and shivered. It would have to be a full moon.

Remus paced inside the locked room in the shrieking shack. More precisely, the wolf paced the room, and Remus paced inside his head.

He could smell Tonks. Smell her nearby and it was driving him mad. The wolf went to the door and sniffed, shoving his nose close to the gap between door and frame.

She was there, he knew. He could smell her.

Could smell her blood.

Remus consciously forced the wolf away from the door. _No. Not her._

He paced.

_Why had he done that? Why had he kissed her?_

He heard movement on the other side of the door.

_Tonks, no. Leave. Get out of here._

The wolf was intrigued. Human. Female. Not afraid. It went to the door again.

Remus struggled within the wolf/himself. This was why he ought to have stayed away from her. Why he should never have encouraged her. Why he bloody well shouldn't have kissed her.

Her scent all around him, her skin against his lips.

He lifted his muzzle to the sky and howled.

_I can't have you._

A muffled thump came from the hallway. A whisper, a sigh.

The wolf went to the door and reared up on his hind legs, standing taller than a man.

Her blood, sweet in her veins.

A flash of an image, a fraction of a dream. Her running, trees, and the thrill of the hunt.

Remus fought the vision, fought the wolf for control. He growled low in his throat.

Hunting, running, chasing.

_I told you I was too dangerous. Why couldn't you leave me alone?_

Victory, capture, her soft throat between his teeth, her blood spilling hot over his hands.

Over his _hands._

The moon had barely set when Tonks was removing the wards on the door and scrambling inside. She froze in the doorway as Remus' naked, sweat slick body hit the ground and he cried out, a pained hopeless sound.

He struggled to his hands and knees, crept forward a few inches, and then pitched over onto his side with a thud.

"Remus?" She whispered.

"Get… out." He rasped, shudders wracking his body.

As she watched, his muscles convulsed under his skin, as if they were readjusting to being human once more.

Slowly, he moved, carefully shifting his weight until he rolled onto his back. He closed his eyes and just lay there. He didn't have the energy to move any more, and it would hurt too much even to try. In a little while, he would be able to drag himself into bed, but right now, it was all he could do to keep breathing.

He could feel her eyes on him, though. And was immediately aware of his nakedness. He made a feeble attempt to cover himself, and then gave it up as his muscles spasmed again.

_Let her see,_ he thought viciously. _Let her see the truth of it._

The room was silent.

Then, her gasp. "Oh, Remus."

He opened his eyes painfully. Somehow, she was on her knees beside him now. She turned her face away when his gaze met hers.

"Look at me." He ordered, his voice hoarse.

She shook her head, taking a shuddering breath.

"Look at me, Nymphadora." He snarled softly. "Look at what it is you think you want."

She gave a little sob. Then she reached out, her hand trembling. She looked at him sideways as her fingers brushed his hip, tracing the ridges of scar tissue there.

She had known, without ever seeing, that he was scarred. Had known that the scars were more than just those on his hands and face. But to see him, laid out before her, his pale skin marked with years of injury; it was worse than she could have imagined.

And beyond the roadmap of scars, was the toll that life had taken on his body. There wasn't a bit of fat on him; she could practically count his ribs.

To her, he was beautiful.

She skimmed her hand over his hip, over the bumps of his ribs, to press it firmly against his chest where she could feel his heart beating erratically.

"I love you." She told him.

With sudden ferocity, he reached up and flung her hand away from him. "Don't!"

She stared at him. "Don't what?" She reached toward him again.

He slapped her hand away, a startling growl in his throat. "No, Tonks. Don't."

"Don't what! Don't touch you? Don't love you?" She asked, her voice breaking. "I can't not. Let me help you, Remus."

"I don't need…" He trailed off, sitting up and grabbing the blanket that lay nearby and pulling it around himself.

"What?" She whispered. "You don't need what?"

"You." He said, his voice brittle and cruel. "I don't need you. I don't want you."

He struggled to his feet, the blanket clutched around his hips.

"You don't mean that." She shook her head slowly.

"I've never meant anything more."

Her face creased with confusion. "But…but, I love you."

"I don't love you." He said coldly. His face was a hard mask.

Her eyes glistened with tears. "You're lying. I know you're lying."

A muscle worked in his jaw. It was a struggle for him to remain upright, but he did it, not wanting to appear weak. Not now. He could collapse when she was gone.

Tonks got to her feet and took a step toward him. He could see the hurt and confusion in her eyes.

He backed away, the edges of the blanket swishing softly on the floor.

"Leave." He told her.

She shook her head.

"Please Tonks. Leave me alone."

"No."

His control snapped. "For fuck's sake! Get out of here! I don't want you. I don't love you, leave me alone!"

Her head snapped back as if he'd struck her. She straightened her shoulders. "I hate you." She whispered painfully.

He turned his back on her.

He held his breath until he heard her footsteps recede. Until he heard her clattering down the stairs and the slam of the front door.

Then he let it out. Then he dropped to his knees, his strength gone.

"Leave me alone." He whispered.


	17. interlude

A/N: did you like the last chapter? Am I an evil genius or what?

Disclaimer: the usual.

* * *

Tonks didn't see Remus again for three months.

* * *

Mwahahaha! hate me yet? 


	18. patrolling

A/N: Ooooh. You're all so angryyy! Hehehe. Well here. A real chapter.

disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all recognizable characters. I own nothing more than my fevered imagination.

I normally don't like to put lyrics in, but this song was running through my head all day as I was writing.

Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Evanescence 'Missing'

* * *

When she was called on to Patrol Hogwart's with Bill and Remus, Tonks faced the night with trepidation.

She trudged up the lane to the gates of the school. She could see Bill Weasley standing on one side of the gate, leaning casually against the wall, twirling his wand in one hand.

Remus stood at the other side of the gate, shoulders hunched, back to the road.

She took a deep breath and quickened her step. "Wotcher, Bill. Remus." She greeted with false cheer.

Bill stopped twirling his wand and tucked it away. "Heya, Tonks." He said pushing away from the wall.

He studied her for a moment. "You look like shit." He told her, whispering so that only she could hear. "You okay with this?"

Tonks shrugged it off. "I'm fine."

She took a few steps forward. Remus turned slightly.

"Hello, Tonks."

Just the sound of his voice, hoarse and soft, made her gut clench. "Remus."

He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but then shut it again, turning back to the gate as Professor McGonagall opened it and motioned them inside.

They split up quickly, Bill opting to remain outside, and Remus and Tonks patrolling inside the castle. Tonks tried to head off on her own, but Remus followed her doggedly.

She ignored him.

After twenty minutes of awkward silence, Remus touched her arm. "Tonks?"

She kept walking. "We're supposed to be patrolling."

He fell into step with her. "Won't you even talk to me?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't think I will. Everything's been said."

"Would you listen to me, then?" He asked.

"No, I don't think I'll do that either."

He walked beside her in grave silence as they entered the deserted great hall. As they crossed to the other end, he spoke again.

"Nymphadora…"

She cut him off abruptly. "You made it abundantly clear that you don't want to be a part of my life, so you're not. That means I don't have to listen to you."

"Can't we be friends still?"

The softly stated question enraged her. "How could you ask that!" She rounded on him. "How dare you ask me that?"

"I never meant to hurt you."

She laughed bitterly. "Oh that's rich. Think, Remus. The things you said to me? You fully intended to hurt me."

"I'm sorry." He reached out to take hold of her arm. "Tonks…"

She came to a halt and wrenched her arm free. "_Don't_ touch me! You've _no_ right!"

He let his hand fall. "I'm sorry." He said again.

"I don't care how many times you say it. You hurt me."

She stomped to the door at the end of the hall and entered a dimly lit passage. Remus followed, head bowed.

He could only blame himself. In trying uselessly to protect her, he'd driven her away and lost the closest thing he had to a friend.

_God, he was a bloody perverse creature._ He'd managed what he'd set out to do, to push her away; and then he found himself missing her. Wanting her.

He still thought his reasons were valid, but now they were beginning to wear thin. Not seeing her, not hearing her laughter for so long, had made him completely miserable.

He'd finally admitted to himself in the dark of one cold lonely night that he loved her. And he'd sent her away.

"And the worst part is," she muttered, "I still love you."

Hope flared in his chest painfully. He immediately quashed it. There was no use. "I beg your pardon?" He whispered hoarsely.

She didn't look at him, but stopped walking. "You heard me."

He caught up to her and stood behind her. "You have to give up on me, Tonks. It'll never work."

"How do you know?" She asked, turning to face him. "How can you say that when you won't even try?"

"I can't." He murmured. "I can't, Tonks, can't you see that?"

"You _won't_. And that's the difference. That's why we'll just keep having the same bloody argument over and over."

He made a frustrated sound and paced away from her, thrusting his hands through his hair. "This has to stop, Nymphadora."

"It will when you realize what a wanker you are." She said with a touch of her old humor.

The ghost of a smile crossed his face. "Thank you."

"Why, Remus?" She questioned. "Why were you so cruel to me?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "That night, Tonks, that full moon was... bad for me."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We need to keep moving," he said quietly.

She fell into step beside him as he started down the passageway. "Why was it bad?"

He didn't answer for the longest time.

"Remus?"

"I'm just... thinking of how to explain it properly." He said slowly.

She made an impatient sound.

"I could smell you." He stated bluntly. "I could still taste you."

She couldn't control the shiver his words caused.

"The wolf could, I mean. That was... problematic." He said carefully. "I couldn't stop it, Tonks. I could see myself hunting you, catching you." His voice fell to a bare whisper. "Killing you."

She absorbed this information with a tight nod. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't myself at the time." He said dryly.

She snorted. "That morning, I meant."

"I couldn't." His voice was tinged with shame. "I couldn't tell you that."

"And I'm only telling you now," he continued, "because I need you to understand how dangerous I am to you."

She nodded slowly. "Uh-huh."

As they approached the grand staircase, she stopped.

"Let me get this straight." She said. "You dreamed of killing me."

He winced. "Yes."

"Uh-huh." She tapped her finger against her lips. "And that proves you're dangerous, how?"

He turned to face her. "Tonks…"

"No, Remus. I'm trying to understand this. You think you're such a danger to me because you dreamed of hunting me while you were locked up in a room as a harmless wolf?"

He shot her a look.

"Well, blimey. Better lock me up. I dream of killing lots of people."

"This isn't a joke, Nymphadora."

"_Don't _call me that. It _is_ a joke, Remus. You keep falling back on the same argument because you're afraid."

He started to speak but was interrupted when Bill came running.

"Something's happening!" Bill announced. "I saw flashes from upstairs."

As one, the three of them ran up the staircase, Remus and Tonks' argument abandoned.

Tonks kept stealing glances at Remus as they mounted the stairs. She was right, she knew she was right. He was afraid.


	19. the battle

A/N: Sigh. I know, I know. it's about time. You wouldn't beleive the trouble I had with this. I hate it, but hope you'll like it.

* * *

Remus could hear Tonks breathing hard behind him as they ran up the Grand Staircase. He wanted to tell her to go back, go downstairs and find a nice closet and hide until it was all over, because he could smell danger, could smell death, and he wanted her safe. He knew if he dared say it, she was likely to hex him into next week.

He glanced back, then reached out and took her hand, pulling her behind him.

Bill led the way, charging up the stairs fearlessly. Third floor, Fourth floor, Fifth floor. He paused on the landing at the Sixth floor, gazing up the next flight of stairs.

There were shouts coming from the Seventh floor.

"Come on!" Bill urged, lunging forward, taking the remaining steps two at a time.

The three of them reached the landing just as three bodies emerged from an unnaturally dark corridor.

Ron, Ginny and Neville nearly collided with Bill, then they all started talking at once.

"Death Eaters…"

"Room of Requirement…"

"Malfoy."

Remus released Tonks' hand and stepped forward. "One at a time, please."

He was remarkably calm, Tonks noticed. Cool and in control, as always.

His no nonsense approach got the necessary information out of the three teens, and then all six headed after the group of Death Eaters that Malfoy had let in through the room of requirement.

They began fighting in a corridor leading to the astronomy tower. There was a lot of confusion, spells and curses flying every which way.

Dodging a stray hex, Tonks caught a glimpse of Remus dueling with a Death Eater that she recognized, named Gibbon.

She froze for a moment, distracted by what she saw. Her normally mild mannered professor had become a warrior, his lips pulled back in a silent snarl, his eyes alight with glittering ferocity.

He deftly blocked a nasty curse and flung one back with a shout.

Gibbon dodged, then turned and ran, heading up the tower stairs. Remus started to follow, but was blocked by another Death Eater.

A spell whizzed by Tonks' shoulder, and she tore her attention from Remus to focus on the fight. She and Ginny downed one death eater and then split up once more to fight.

She'd just turned toward the stairs when she heard harsh breath behind her. She turned around slowly.

"Fenrir." She breathed.

"Lupin's bitch." He licked his lips, baring his yellow teeth. "Don't you look tasty." The grizzled werewolf growled. "I could just eat you up."

Tonks fought back a wave of panic. She lifted her wand.

He advanced on her, stopping when the tip of her wand pressed into his chest. He leaned close and inhaled deeply.

"Sweet."

"I'll show you sweet." Tonks ground out. She drew back her wand, a curse on her lips. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bill approaching.

Fenrir lunged, reaching for her. She sucked in a breath, then let it out in a rush when Bill tackled the werewolf.

She had no time to catch her breath. Another Death Eater began firing spells, and Tonks ducked, rolling to one side.

"They've blocked the stairway!" Remus shouted. Even as he yelled it, Neville tried charging through and was thrown back violently. Then Remus tried, with the same result.

Then she heard a savage shout of triumph and looked over to see Fenrir toss Bill away. Bill hit the floor and lay unmoving.

_They were losing._

She started after Fenrir, but then Remus was in front of her. "No! Tonks, he'll kill you."

Fenrir ran through the barrier and out of sight.

Chunks of stone and mortar started falling around them as spells flew wild. Time seemed to have no meaning as they continued to fight. Dust and magic choked the air, making it hard to breath, hard to see.

Suddenly, Snape was running past, dragging Draco Malfoy behind him. He shouted something and disappeared down the corridor. The Death Eaters started to disperse, chasing after him.

And then Harry was coming through, pale and angry; running after Snape.

The spells ceased.

Tonks looked around, noting that several Death Eaters lay on the ground. Neville was down too, but he was being tended to by Luna Lovegood. Ginny and Ron were kneeling next to Bill.

Remus was nearby, his face drawn. His eyes met hers and he looked away.

"Bill?" Tonks moved closer. When she looked down, she gasped. He was covered in blood, his face a mass of wounds.

Ginny was trying to do healing charms on him to no effect. "We have to get him to the hospital wing." She said desperately.


	20. aftermath

Tonks was not as embarrassed by her outburst in the hospital wing as she was by the fact that Remus would not even look at her. She slipped away from Hogwart's at the first opportunity she saw and apparated a few blocks from her flat. She wanted to have a bit of a walk, so she could try to sort through what she was feeling.

Dumbledore was dead.

Bill had been bitten.

Snape was a traitor.

The third one was not much of a surprise, but still. All of that on top of the whole Remus issue, and she was feeling overwhelmed.

Or whelmed anyway.

So she walked and tried to clear her head. She was so tired. Not just physically, from the battle and not sleeping; but deep down tired. All she wanted was to find a dark place, curl up and sleep forever.

For a couple of hours at least.

She trudged up the stairway to her flat, scrubbing her hands over her face. She let her hands drop when she reached the top of the stairs and came to a surprised stop.

Remus was sitting propped against her door, arms crossed over his drawn up knees. He had his head tilted back and his eyes closed.

The dim flickering light of the hallway cast unflattering shadows over him, emphasizing the lines of weariness and worry that furrowed his face. His hair was rumpled and mussed as if he'd been running his hands through it over and over as he was prone to do when agitated.

It wasn't fair, she decided, that he should still look so appealing to her after all the times he'd turned her down.

It also wasn't fair that she should want to cuddle him when she felt so bloody awful herself.

"Remus?"

His head came up and he focused bloodshot eyes on her. "Tonks." He rose slowly.

She took a deep breath. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

She pulled out her wand and waved it at her door unlocking and unwarding it. "Does it have to be right now?"

He tucked his hands in his trouser pockets. "I rather think it does."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?" She wasn't in the mood for him to turn her down once more.

"Because I mightn't have the courage later." He said quietly.

She wasn't sure how to take that. So she shrugged, feigning indifference. No doubt he'd see through it, but at least she could pretend.

Tossing her hair, she attempted to sail past him proudly. Instead, she tripped on her shoelace and would have wound up on the floor if he hadn't caught her.

For a moment, she allowed herself to luxuriate in the feel of his arm around her waist, then she pulled away, stomping into her flat. For once, she thought angrily, she'd like to be able to act like an adult around him without looking stupid.

He followed her inside, closing the door behind him.

"D'you want tea?" She asked, her belligerent tone making it obvious that if he did he could bloody well make it himself.

"No. Thank you." He slipped off his robes and draped them carefully over the back of a chair. If she hadn't been trying to stay in a snit, she had found it funny. The robes were covered in dust and dirt and even blood.

She tugged her boots off and tossed them in a corner, then slipped off her robes, letting them drop where she stood.

Then she plunked her hands on her hips and faced him. "I'm not having the same bloody fight with you again, Remus. I'm too tired."

He shook his head. "No, Dora. Not the same fight."

There was something odd in his voice. Maybe the way he'd said her name, or maybe it was just the tone. She found herself holding her breath.

Remus was silent, gazing at her, trying to gather his thoughts. It wasn't as if he didn't know why he was there. For what purpose he'd come. But he was suddenly unsure.

"Should I sit down? is this going to take a while?" Tonks asked with a hint of her old attitude.

"You're angry with me." He stated.

She shrugged and flung herself down on the sofa.

"You've every right to be." he told her.

"Ta, ever so." She crossed her arms over her chest and gazed at him expectantly. "Well? You have something to say? Say it."

"Nymphadora..." He started.

"_Don't_ call me that."

He sighed. "Dora, please."

"Oh, sit down for Merlin's sake." She told him. "You look as if you're about to face a rampaging Weasley."

He smiled weakly and sat on the sofa beside her. "It's been my impression that it is always best to be cautious around an angry woman."

She remained silent.

"I know you're angry with me, Dora, and I don't blame you. I've been such a shit about this whole thing."

She considered that. "Yes." She replied. "You have."

Remus chuckled. "I'll always know where I stand with you, won't I?"

"And I'll never know, will I Remus?" She countered. "We're just going to keep playing this game until one of us walks away, aren't we?" She bounced to the edge of the sofa as if to rise.

He turned toward her, reaching out and taking her hand. "It isn't a game to me, Dora. I'm sorry if you ever thought it was."

"Well..."

"Let me finish." He interrupted her.

She sat back with a pout.

"Don't pout. You're about to get your way."

She bounced again. "Remus are you..."

He held up his hand. "Let me finish."

She blinked.

"I've only wanted to keep you safe, you know." His thumb stroked the back of her hand softly. "You probably think it's archaic, but that's my way."

This time he only had to look at her and she fell silent.

"I realized something tonight." He continued. "What Arthur said was right. Young and whole men don't necessarily stay that way. At least with me, you already know what you're in for."

"Remus..."

He lifted his hand and placed a finger against her lips. "Let me finish."

She looked fit to burst, he thought as he lowered his hand, but she didn't speak.

"I do love you, Dora. I've never felt this way for anyone before and it is absolutely terrifying, but I can't deny it anymore."

Her eyes were locked on his. "What are you saying?"

He took a deep breath. "I'm saying I'd like to give it a go, if you're willing. If I haven't completely buggered it up."

Her silence was not the answer he'd hoped for. "Dora?"

She opened her mouth, closed it; opened it, huffed out a breath and closed it again.

"Please say something." He whispered.

"You'd better kiss me soon." She whispered back. "So I know this is for real."

He lifted his hands, framing her face. "Nymphadora..." Leaning in, he brushed his lips over her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, and then ever so lightly touching her lips.

Her breath shuddered out on a sigh.

"I love you." He murmured between kisses. "I always have."


End file.
